This post literally like an open diary that boldly I posted on Blogspot. Some of you might think that I'll write a love story here, but that's not 100% accurate because I just wanna share a love letter to myself. Here it is, it starts with "Jangan Cinta Aku Apa Adanya". Lately, I've been wondering how to deals with insecurities when I have to see a lot of my friends got an amazing achievement while I'm here still stuck with routines that not allow me to do amazing things like them.
What was my obstacle back then? It's gonna be complicated when I answer that question with "ME", as you see, it's about me from the beginning. The source of the problem, yet the source of willingness and support. And to overcome my problem, I have to start it by knowing myself and my personality more. Right after I realized that I found a way how to deals with insecurities, the answer is to start loving myself more than before. So here I am, doing a thing I called "self-love" but then I realized all of the things that I've done to loving myself is just a part of procrastinating something, forgetting something that makes me feel pressured, doing everything I can enjoy to forgetting my problems, and many more un-productive activities.
Today, I'm listening to Tulus's songs with the title "Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya". A part of me shouts out, saying it's happened to self-love also. We have to make an improvement in life, so we could be a better person. Even though you have stated that you "love yourself" it doesn't mean you can love yourself unconditionally. Sometimes, we all need "Conditional Love", just to make it clear that we can improve our weaknesses, overcome our insecurities, and do something great in the future. Here, I cited some of the lyrics of Tulus's songs.
"Jangan cintai aku apa adanya, jangan,
Tuntutlah sesuatu biar kita jalan ke depan."
It happens on self-love too, we have to demand ourself to make some conditional love to ourself, just to make sure we can make a great improvement by that condition. Slowly but sure, by little good changes will make our life more meaningful and no more worries about what will going in the future. Keep in mind that we have done our best every single day, and a little or big improvement that we make, will give us an impact tomorrow.
God will pay it forward, all of our struggle today will give us a good result. So, just live your life the best way and stop comparing yourself to others. The best way to comparing yourself is by comparing yourself today to the old version of you many years ago. Have you made improvements in your life?
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